The Tipping Point, Part II

The Essence of Trauma Is That It Is Overwhelming, Unbelievable, and Unbearable

Says Bessel A. van der Kolk, the author of The Body Keeps Score. “Each patient demands that we suspend our sense of what is normal and accept that we are dealing with a dual reality: the reality of a relatively secure and predictable present that lives side by side with a ruinous, ever-present past.”

Perhaps you’ve found yourself here because of an estrangement in your own life. Or, someone you love dearly lives with this pain and you want to understand it better. The truth is, it’s a difficult wound to heal because it does indeed live in the body, coexisting with the present in a push-pull battle. You’re here, safe and surrounded by love. But, at times, you’re also back there. And back there isn’t safe.

In my experience, yoga, which teaches us how to be fully with ourselves, even in moments of deep discomfort, has been one of the most powerful tools. I believe that the first step in healing is to create an unshakable sense of love and trust within yourself that even the biggest boogieman from the past cannot touch.

I have also found so much comfort in reading the stories of others. I’m continuing to share some of my favorite readings on the topic and I hope you find them to be a supportive and valuable resource if you’re feeling aloft this Mother’s Day weekend.

1. The Body Keeps Score

2. I Hate You (A Love Letter To My Mother)

3. Mother’s Who Can’t Love

One of my earliest childhood memories: I’m home alone with my older brother James when I was about three years old and he must have been about nine. He’d trapped a neighbor’s cat in our house and was chasing it from room to room, cornering the frightened animal under furniture and beating it with a yellow broom. I still remember the terror and helplessness. How I cried and begged him to stop, becoming hysterical and covering my eyes when I saw the poor animal’s face covered in blood from the attack.